Archive for December, 2012

2012 in review

Monday, December 31st, 2012

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,900 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 5 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Charmed! RING MY BELL S 1. E 2

Monday, December 31st, 2012

it all started when liz forgot her wallet and a sexy drop dead gorgeous stranger helped her with the bills, she anticipates a night with him but also fears the light he ignites in her,

……………He waved me off and smiled at me and I noticed his dimples for the first time. Gosh could he be any cuter?
‘Nah it’s ok…but you could have breakfast with me though’
I instinctively looked down at my outfit
‘It’s just breakfast, you look great,’ Ha! I honestly doubt that.

 I was half way through my second bagel and occasionally sipping on my iced tea while watching Mr. gorgeously bald go on and on about his art. He was into anything art. Drawing painting, photography, sculpting and he seemed very passionate about it all. Gosh, I could have sat there watching him for hours. I wasn’t even paying attention to him, just the sound of his voice as it reverberated off the steel coffee table outside of the bakery sent tingles along my spine, right down to my happy place…kitty’s happy place.
‘I’m terribly sorry, I must be boring you with all these art talk. I’m not going to say another word about myself. Naa, and he made a zipping gesture across his lips. Very plump and pink for a man, I belatedly noticed.
‘No, no no it’s ok. I quite enjoy listening to you talk’, Oh yes I did.
‘I’m not much of a talker myself, it’s nice to let someone take the lead in a conversation’. He half smiled and looked down at his finger tips drumming away idly on the coffee table. Oh my God, was I making him shy?   I decided to ease the tension, he was way too good looking to let this fall apart like I usually did.
‘My job isn’t half as exciting as yours, I work at a PR firm so I pretty much sit around in my cubicle all day covered in paper work. I suck at art, can’t paint but I doodle a lot at work though.’ He chuckled at this and his dimples sunk even deeper into his cheeks. This made me lighten up and I started going on about how I hated my job and my fat bitch of a boss, I even told him how I contemplated spitting in her coffee once and how I had found that she’d been shopping at tmart.co.uk for a rabbit vibrator. His eyes widened in shock at this revelation and he leaned in with an interested smile as I told him of my theories about my discovery. We locked eyes a couple of times briefly during the course of our breakfast and other times I could have sworn he was checking out my rack. There was definitely a seductive vibe going on and I could feel it. He leaned back into his chair and absent-mindedly glanced at his watch and then did a fast double take.
‘Crap! It’s 10:30, I’m supposed to be meeting with an art gallery owner at 11 about having some of my work on display at his upcoming art exhibition’. I couldn’t believe we’d been talking for over three hours. My bagels and doughnut were long gone and the crumbs from his had been sitting in his plate for hours now. I was disappointed that he had to leave.
‘We’ve been here a while and I don’t even know your name’
‘Liz’ I giggled. He then proceeded to hand me his phone.
‘Put in all you info, I’d like to see you again…soon’, and I couldn’t miss the unmistakable glint in his eyes when he uttered the last word. I typed in my phone number and email address and handed his phone back to him and with that he got up ready to leave.
‘Hey! You haven’t told me your name either’, I protested.
‘Javine’, He replied smiling.
‘I’ll see you around’, and with that he was gone, leaving me to wonder what had just happened.
         I spent the rest of the day trying to busy myself just to get my mind off Mr gorgeous and bald. I must have replayed our breakfast over a hundred times. I kept a close eye on my phone hoping it would ring and it would be him on the other end. I nearly gave myself coronary when it buzzed later in the day and to my utmost annoyance, it was just a useless text from my internet service providers informing me about some new upgrade in their services or something like that.
I dumped my phone on my bed in frustration and reluctantly strolled into the shower. As the water cascaded around me and the steam began to build my mind started going to territories I hadn’t visited in ages. I wondered what he looked like under that green t-shirt he had on and those stripped shorts. Was he well hung or overly endowed like Taye. I shook my head vigorously trying to get the image on Taye out of my head. As I massaged the shower gel into my skin, kitty emerged wide awake from her slumber and boy was she hungry. I decided it was probably time to take her for some grooming in case there was going to be some activity coming through her doors in the nearest future. I got out the shower and dressed quickly, called up my buddy at my favorite beauty salon and begged to be squeezed in for a wax job in half an hour.
I had been lounging on my couch sipping on cold orange juice while watching my recorded episodes of ‘The good wife’ when my phone rang. I absentmindedly answered without checking the caller ID and nearly choked on my drink when I heard his voice on the other end.
‘Hey beautiful’, he cooed and I just wanted to squeal in delight.
‘Hey, how did your meeting go?’, He definitely wasn’t one to play games. He actually called! And on the same day too.
‘Great! I’m going on display next Thursday’. My ever naughty mind picked up on the double entendre.
‘I mean, my work is going on display next Thursday’, he corrected as if reading my mind and I could feel him smiling.
‘That’s great! Am I invited?’, I asked and immediately regretted it.
‘Sure, i’ll text you the details later.’
‘What are you doing later this evening?’

‘Oh nothing, I’m probably just going to fall asleep on my couch watching episodes of ‘the good wife’ ‘
‘You watch that too? Maybe it would be more interesting if you had company over. We could have a continuation of breakfast this morning only this time we’d be having dessert and trust me, you won’t fall asleep.’
OMG!! Was he saying what I think he was saying?
‘Umm sure, you could bring the dessert along when you’re coming ‘cos I don’t have any at home. I’m supposed to be on a diet.’
He let out a long chuckle and I mentally slapped myself at that failed attempt at naivety.
‘Oh Liz, I’ll bring the dessert alright. Is eight good for you?’
‘Sure, see you then.’
‘Later babe’ and he clicked off.
 
So here I am, anticipating the night ahead. What would it feel like?. It’s been so long, I feel like a virgin again. I take one last look at myself in the mirror. I made sure to dress casually in a light strapless summer dress, I even put on some lip gloss. I didn’t want to seem like I put too much effort into getting ready. Just then the door bell rang. I practically raced to the door then stopped to take a deep breath and smooth my dress over my hips before opening the door.
‘You’re right on time Mr…’ I stopped mid-speech when I realised that instead of my gorgeous new friend who I was about to have sex with, there were two police men standing right in front of me.
‘Good evening ma’am, are you Ms Stevens?…Ms Liz Stevens’, the taller officer asked.
‘Yes…yes I am, is there a problem officer’, I asked feeling quite taken aback and confused.
‘Do you by any chance know a Mr Javin Oprah?’, he asked throwing me a quizzical look.
‘ummm…Javin, I know a Javin but I don’t know his last name.’
‘Ma’am you were the last person he called’. The officer continued confusing me even more.
‘I’m sorry officers I don’t understand’.
The shorter one sighed. ‘I’m sorry ma’am but there’s been an incident, you’d have to come with us to the station.’
What the hell??!!!. Oh my God where’s JAVINNNN……..?

to be continued

Happy New Year to all my Readers!

Ff me on twitter @zirawonders

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

CHECKERS AND JOKERS

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

HELLO READERS,

Checkers & Jokers presents the hottest raving gist of the moments. An Exclusive Interview on new Orange Drug Face, Mercy Isoyip, the NEVE DYERI RUNWAY show, The biggest chill off party by some Oil Tycoons and other side attractions. Read, share with friends and enjoy your day!!!

cover photo

cover photo

MERCY ISOYIP- STORY OF A DIVA

matured groove

Her Name is Mercy Isoyip. She is a true definition of an urban diva. With a rare personal aura, ballistic steps and a priceless face, this chick has continued getting raves not only in Calabar, but in the larger world.

Catching up with mercy was quite a herculean task, but at the end it was worth it. From her personal life to her academics, fashion, friends, her new Car and her recent mouth watery contract with ORANGE DRUG, Ms Mercy created a picture of a girl who is enjoying life by the YOLO dictum.

Her charming smile, warm gesture made me wish this interview never came to an end. Sit back, fasten your eyes and ears. This is how the interview went………….

Q: How has life been generally this year?

A: Fine, we thank God, he is the ultimate

Q: You’ve been in and out of the state and country recently, what do u think attracts other girls outside Calabar?

A: i think site seeing, you know, people travel for many reasons, I go for holidays to see my relatives and for tourism.

Q: After Face of Cybermul you’ve been quiet, don’t u think people still expect more from you?

A: I am doing a professional course that demands total focus, so I’ve been trying to focus and you know the higher you get the tedious it becomes.

Q: so that means the recent mercy is a nerd?

A: (laughing) yeah, I’ve always been a nerd, that’s why by God’s grace I’ve been successful so far

Q: What are the three things in your fashion kitty that you can’t do without?

A: My glasses, ( Mexican accent ) you know? You always want to smell good, keep a fresh breath and move out with cash in case of …… ( Akwa Ibom professor accent ) you understand?

Q: What are your hobbies and what attracts you to friends?

A: my hobbies are………… I like friends that have the same drive with mine, share my believes, believe in me and impact positively. My criteria for friendship is that you must have a Christ-like attitude and a personal relationship with God so you don’t come and make me…. You understand?

mercy {2nd from left} with friends

mercy {2nd from left} with friends

Q: can you tell us about your love life, and don’t tell us your going to pass this.

A: … am not going to say anything about Non……

Q: you already said something, (giggles)…Non… who?

A: (murmurs a strange Igbo name) lol….dont mind me o, I don’t have a boyfriend, am single and not searching, my academics wouldn’t allow me.

Q: You’ve been in the news lately, rumors etc, how do you deal with rumors and what the assume

A: very good, you see, if you’re not important, they wont talk about you. As time goes on people have to talk, when they talk about me, it makes me stronger, makes me package the more to keep them talking. I don’t really have to blow my trumpet, I like people around me knowing who I truly am.

Q: What’s one sincere advice to girls who want to be hot, classy and a figure like you?

A: they just need to be themselves, believe in themselves avoid listening to side talks and be who they want to be and ultimately pray for God’s direction.  

Q: what’s your selling point?

A: (giggling) …… my face, my face, my faceeee!!! people tell me a lot that I have a fine face

nerd beauty

Q: We have divas like Rihanna known for music, Tyra for fashion and  Serena Williams for tennis, what will Mercy  be known/remembered for?

A: that’s more like blowing my trumpet, well…… I want to be known as that girl that could make a difference in life situations, set good examples and stop what stopped others.

Q: what is your secret guilty pleasure?

A: looool!!! I love to shop with boys so I don’t get scared of the bills….( laughing ) am not scared of anything sha, I can afford anything I want by God’s grace.

Q: What is the biggest offer you’ve turned down?

A: I’ve turned down every offer that pertains to runs and married men. But the biggest offer was 8 million from a guy who wanted my virgi…..…

riding hot

riding hot

Q: Jeeeeez!!!! Why?

A: I was keeping it for my prince charming, (laughing) and I feel Sex is a special thing to be done with that special one

Q: 1 crazy moment?

A: there was one boy, he was my friend in secondary school, one day he came and said I should hug him, and I was like what kind of sinful relationship is this one? so I broke up with him (laughing). Imagine the boy asking for a hug in a dark corner, and he really stayed until darkness covered. But if its now, I’ll hug him plenty.

.

Q: One Last Word?

A: If you can think it, you can do it. Go for it!!!!

 

After the whole interview, we got gisting and Mercy used this medium to announce the arrival of her new car, YES!!! You heard it here first. We wish her a jolly ride and more freshness to this diva.

To catch up with mercy this Christmas, don’t forget to attend the MWX Pool/Fashion Party being held by top Oil tycoons on the 22nd of December.

Gracias!!!

Gracias!!!

POEM

TEARS AND JOY

NEVE DYERI RUNWAY!!!!!

NEVE DYERI

NEVE DYERI

Since her berth in 2008, the NEVE fashion show has grown to be one of the biggest fashion shows in Nigeria. Driven by a young girl with great passion for fashion and a witty dexterity rarely common amongst female folks, Nkari as she is popularly known keeps giving fashion lovers exquisite feelings at every show. The young American University of Nigeria student has worked with top designers, make up artiste and other celebrities. Her event has also been boosted by the appearance of the likes of Banky W.

This year, NEVE brings the very best of Runway to the peaceful city of Calabar. Its an experience no one would love to miss out on.

Attending the NEVE fashion show would not only be an opportunity for you to relax, meet people with great minds and have fun, but you will also be contributing to charity this Christmas as 5% of every sales goes to charity.

With top designers like NACK, TAYO GABRIELS, HUNT COUTURE, MICHAEL YANAI, T-MART etc. set to grace the event, the NEVE fashion show promises to be explosive.

Free cocktails, Hors d’oeuvres and wine, discounts on in-house shopping, vehicle pick ups and a mad after party at MayFair Lounge and Jasper 131 are other attractions set to make this event a rare spectacle.

Catch the NEVE DYERI models at a cool off party the next day, 22nd December at Aqua Centre, Channel View Hotel poolside.

NEVE DYERI RUNWAY

DATE: 21stDecember, 2012

VENUE: The Pearl Ball Room, Transcorp Hotels, Calabar

TICKETS

N 1000 (LIMITED SITTING)

N1500 (VEHICLE PICK UP)

N5000 (FRONT ROW SITTING)

Nkari(1)

For info/tickets call: +2347039510540, +2348134143980

Tickets available @ Crunchies, Mayfair, Transcorp hotels

MOST WANTED FASHION/POOL PARTY

pool girl

MWX POOL/FASHION PARTY is a classic rendezvous for the freshest/finest, classiest gents and ladies. Expected to have great fashion power houses, top models, popperholics, celebrities, OIL TYCOONS etc, MWX party is just the right place to cool off for any one with class, uniqueness and style.

With the club-like atmosphere being replicated at the pool side, guests are surely going to have a good run for their money.

The Street Band Queen contest is also an opportunity for guests to have a feel of pageantry under the cool breeze and warmth. It is also an opportunity to contribute to charity and put a smile on someone’s face this Christmas.

Neve Dyeri, top fashion designer and her runway models are expected to headline this fashion pool party.

TABLES

TABLES

Top class celebrity Judge Ono, Atl’s  finest CHICK Tj, the LEAGUE, PAPANKU & FRIENDS and other fresh sexy, sizzling, smart shawties and sexy dudes are expected to rock and roll at the MWX fashion party.

Shhhhh…… Our Guest Appearance for the day is someone you all would never forget, with the HKN group performing a day before, this action packed party is sure to attract the Rambo’s.

From hot girls, to power fire dancers, agile boys, bogobigs girls and fresh boys, to shisha puffing, dare devil games and foreign heaves, MWX party is one we all look forward to.

Lewa

Few lucky winners will win tickets to the CALABAR CARNIVAL QUEEN Pageant.

Customized hand bands and beads would also be on display at very affordable prices.

TICKETING:

Boys: N3000 / $20

Girls: N2000 / $15

Couple: N4000 / $25

Wanted: N2o, 000 / $130 (table for 5)

Free tots for gents and ladies……………

DATE: 22nd December, 2012

TIME: 2 PM Prompt

VENUE: AQUA CENTRE, CHANNEL VIEW HOTELS

It’s a Champagne Campaign, ACE, NUVO, ROSE!!! TRRRRAAAAAAAAA!!! so get ready to start forming your parties!!!!

Charmed! RING MY BELL

Friday, December 7th, 2012

 So I finally got my writing mojo back and decided to write something out of my comfort zone. Viewer discretion is adviced,you should be at least  umm 17 to read this. Oh and PLEASE keep your judgments to yourself. Seriously, I will sharply delete  any bullshit judgmental comments. Now that we’ve got that covered. Enjoy!
 
 
                                                                     RING MY BELLS S. 1 E 1
 
           ‘OK Liz, don’t over think this. It’s just sex.’ I chanted repeatedly to my reflection in my bathroom mirror, trying to mentally psyche myself for what’s about to go down in the next couple of hours. I’ve been waiting for this for so long. I’m not exactly sure what I feel at the moment, there’s just a whole bunch of emotions running through me. I’m excited and nervous and impatient and yes horny. I’m finally getting laid!. Ok I’m not a virgin or anything, I just haven’t had sex since the first time. I shudder at the memory of that particular debacle. That whole episode almost scarred me for life. Serves me right anyway, I had no business messing with Taye and his huge umm mamba. It’s been two years and kitty has successfully recovered and now she’s frustrated at the lack of activity coming through her doors. Mentally I wasn’t ready and told kitty to put a sock on it but she’s very persistent so we made a deal. I give her a little battery action every now and again and she leaves me alone. That worked out well for us until we met Eric.

         I had been doing laundry on a Saturday morning when the smell of freshly baked bread and coffee from the bakery two blocks down hit my nostrils. That’s all it took for my entire four month carefully thought out diet plan to go scooting out the window. I’d pretty much stuffed most of my good clothes in the washer so I was left with old jeans and faded tees. I picked out a blue one with ‘I’M BRINGING SEXY BACK’ in bold white letters stamped across the front (honestly what was I thinking when I got this), a pair of faded blue jeans, put my hair up in a shabby bun and skipped to the door. I slipped into the last pair of footwear I had on which happened to be my favorite military combat boots and was out the door in record time. In retrospect, I probably should have put more thought into dressing up but it was just after 7am on a Saturday morning, I didn’t think people would be out and about just yet. Clearly I was very wrong because the bakery was packed when I arrived and to my horror, no one was dressed in shabby it’s-laundry-day outfits. My ipod would have been a welcome distraction but I dashed out of the house so fast that I forgot to take it along with me.  I reluctantly made my way to the back of the line and tried to concentrate on what delicious bread I was going to treat my taste buds to, with the heavenly smell of baked bread inspiring my thoughts. After what seemed like forever, I was finally at the front of the line. The girl at the counter looked rather annoyed, I would be too if I had to work this early on a Saturday morning for minimum wage.
  ‘Hi, what would you like?’ , she asked not even bothering to have on at least a fake smile like she’s supposed to.
‘I’d like two blueberry bagels and one cookies and cream doughnut please’, I replied while mentally warning myself that I’d have to hit the gym this evening or at least do some sort of serious exercise later.
‘We’re giving out free coffee this morning, would you like a cup?’, she retorted barely looking up from the cash register she’d been punching numbers into.
‘No thanks, I don’t drink coffee. I just like the smell.’
She returned my attempt at a polite conversation with a straight face and hint of irritation if I wasn’t mistaken.
‘Twelve-fifty’
Geez, don’t be short with me. I didn’t make you work here…and then it finally hit me why I’d been feeling like I was forgetting something.
‘Err, I seem to have forgotten my wallet…’
The bitch was already looking over my shoulder ready to yell ‘NEXT’ when he stepped out from behind me.
‘I’ll take care of that’
There he was tall, dark, handsome and bald??
‘Since when am I attracted to bald guys?’ I thought while staring at his almost shinny head.
He pulled out some notes from his wallet and handed it to the bitch in two swift motions. She seemed visibly relaxed and I wasn’t sure whether that was because he had just over paid her or she’d also noticed all the sexiness oozing from his pores.
I was still absentmindedly checking him out from head to toe when he turned to face me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

‘You hate coffee but you like how it smells?’, He said in a very soothing voice. The kind that can actually convince you that it is ok to jump off a cliff and pummel to your death and you’d gladly oblige.
‘Ermm yes, it’s not that strange’, I answered very defensively, trying to seem unfazed by his presence.
He reached over and picked up my order off the counter and handed it to me.

‘Thanks, I can pay you back. I live very close by, I could run home and get you your money. It’ll only take five minutes’, I blurted out too suddenly before stopping to think about what I had just said.
I didn’t know this man and I had just voluntarily given him information about myself. What if he was a serial killer or a rapist? He could follow me home and chop my head off and before I knew it, I’d be at the bottom of a river somewhere.

to be continued

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FEMALE KINGS

Thursday, December 6th, 2012
BB Ambassador

BB Ambassador

Hello Readers,

Its your boy Zebira. Months have passed since you all heard from me but I must say I still felt your love, yearn and prayers. Hope life has been well with you all.
My official top post is on sunday but my itchy fingers felt like running this evening.

I don’t know if this make sense, but right here in Calabar, the era of FEMALE KINGS seems to be rising. Young, Pretty Divas now seem to be showing the dudes the way forward when it comes to hustling. Many ponder if the spirit of our first Lady has ignited the hardworking spirit of our girls.

The Likes of Goodnews Udom, Gift Nkari, Annabel Bassey, Sharon Bassey, Elizabeth Ekpiken, Kiki Williams, Nkemjika O. etc are now not only the talk of the town but of the country and even beyond.

At the just concluded Call To Bar, Barr. Henrietta was honoured and received a standing ovation from former Governor, Mr Donald Duke and his Wife.

These girls who have hearts of a King and Minds of a Queen are slowly making their way to the zenith of fame, success and wealth.

Beauty and Brains is the definition of a diva, boys want girls who have got the charm, charisma, panache and Ego and can hold their own in any sphere of Life.

Let’s keep encouraging these Female Kings. But no matter how hard girls tend to match men, they are still going to carry our “belle”. Lol.

Have fun and Watch out for sunday’s COVER STORY! You sure don’t want to miss it.

FuNNY Corner:

Father: where would u like to go.

Son: to the dentist,need to check my eyes,I can’t hear a thing. .

for free text messages, follow this linkIYaM.mobi

Won Award As a Corper

Won Award As a Corper

Fashion Diva

Fashion Diva

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